










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 238 | 17% |
| Smokes | 244 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 465 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 417 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $176,095 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | //yb | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | LOOBUU | 33% | 6 |
| #3 | Ex-Wildberry Employee :( | 33% | 24 |
| #4 | MELVIN AKA CHELVIN AKA CHALVIN | 32% | 44 |
| #5 | KirkisTT | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Chav | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | //yb | 1 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chav | 109 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Noname | 82 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | MELVIN AKA CHELVIN AKA CHALVIN | 57 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ChemisTT | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | LOOBUU | 38 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChemisTT | +3.08 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | //yb | +1.64 | 56 | 54 |
| #3 | MELVIN AKA CHELVIN AKA CHALVIN | +1.00 | 72 | 42 |
| #4 | Noname | +1.00 | 60 | 57 |
| #5 | KirkisTT | +0.74 | 60 | 55 |





