








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 473 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3807 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3944 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4392 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4139 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,522,099 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 992 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kim "tyzona" Dahyun | 56% | 108 |
| #2 | 🌊 mort | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | Budlbert | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | .KLANTE_only | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | Materwelon | 53% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kim "tyzona" Dahyun | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | exact- | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | 🌊 mort | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | .KLANTE_only | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Budlbert | 4 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Materwelon | 855 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | Kim "tyzona" Dahyun | 431 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | exact- | 184 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | .KLANTE_only | 147 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | 🌊 mort | 100 | 0.08 | 2 min |





