








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 868 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5895 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4534 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3356 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3802 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,058 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rasse | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | petermans1 >:-D | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | jemmis | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Morabotti | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | tuutti | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rasse | 513 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | jemmis | 445 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | petermans1 >:-D | 353 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Morabotti | 306 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | QuuiT :> | 231 | 0.13 | 6 min |





