








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 425 | 33% |
| Smokes | 374 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 255 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 247 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,019 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bren | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Mogger | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Busta | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Pondsen | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | gr4nticcus | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Buk | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | ThirdeYe | 37% | 19 |
| #10 | Lake Man | 33% | 3 |
| #11 | Cheese | 25% | 4 |
| #12 | KyMilo | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buk | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gr4nticcus | 82 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bren | 24 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pondsen | 17 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | Lake Man | 17 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | ThirdeYe | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gr4nticcus | +4.21 | 96 | 63 |
| #2 | Lake Man | +3.33 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | Bren | +1.54 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | Buk | +1.14 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | TH | +1.00 | 73 | 65 |





