








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1840 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2345 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1522 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2354 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,444,988 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SH4DY IS BACK | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | gRueni 20 I kluk play | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | ProjectX | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | ..labER.. | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | CTZN | 49% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SH4DY IS BACK | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | gRueni 20 I kluk play | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | ProjectX | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | ..labER.. | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | CTZN | 49% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CTZN | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | ..labER.. | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | ProjectX | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | gRueni 20 I kluk play | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | SH4DY IS BACK | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CTZN | 324 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | gRueni 20 I kluk play | 98 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | SH4DY IS BACK | 75 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | ..labER.. | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | ProjectX | 41 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Garmr | +1.26 | 51 | 47 |
| #2 | gRueni 20 I kluk play | +0.14 | 49 | 77 |
| #3 | SH4DY IS BACK | -0.19 | 60 | 67 |
| #4 | CTZN | -0.59 | 49 | 44 |
| #5 | ..labER.. | -0.65 | 28 | 69 |





