








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1928 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1387 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1742 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1313 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $479,720 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jöpsykkä | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | Niksu | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | ARMADA8D | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | azgah | 57% | 76 |
| #5 | El_Jutku | 57% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | willey- | 54% | 46 |
| #10 | Aaku | 49% | 35 |
| #11 | Proposition Joe | 46% | 13 |
| #12 | ratface | 37% | 41 |
| #13 | Ned | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El_Jutku | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Varpe | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | azgah | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ratface | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Aaku | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varpe | 443 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | El_Jutku | 434 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | SUS1 | 282 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | azgah | 246 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | willey- | 210 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jöpsykkä | +6.09 | 95 | 79 |
| #2 | Niksu | +2.67 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | ARMADA8D | +2.06 | 90 | 61 |
| #4 | El_Jutku | +0.68 | 58 | 82 |
| #5 | SUS1 | +0.63 | 76 | 79 |





