








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5104 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5118 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3712 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4344 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,103,900 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeijo J | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | playstation 1 hagrid | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ei hätää | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ssuol | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | inaj | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ssuol | 954 | 0.26 | 28 min |
| #2 | Jeijo J | 781 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #3 | ei hätää | 310 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | inaj | 295 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | playstation 1 hagrid | 271 | 0.10 | 7 min |





