








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2478 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3342 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2201 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1624 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,781 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 744 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirN00bie | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | MHLunacy | 57% | 65 |
| #3 | bogthesack | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Kenny Loggins | 56% | 57 |
| #5 | Krusty | 55% | 288 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krusty | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Goodstuff | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | D'Artagnan | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | MHLunacy | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | iLLuJiN | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krusty | 1199 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | D'Artagnan | 325 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | MHLunacy | 198 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Goodstuff | 163 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | iLLuJiN | 156 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MHLunacy | +4.98 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | iLL | +2.60 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | iLLuJiN | +2.04 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | Jaadoo o_O | +1.69 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | Krusty | +1.48 | 45 | 68 |





