








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 614 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2568 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2150 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2447 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2014 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,063 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyz | 51% | 68 |
| #2 | Bardaszian ;f | 50% | 66 |
| #3 | Mów mi Wuju! | 50% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyz | 51% | 68 |
| #2 | Bardaszian ;f | 50% | 66 |
| #3 | Mów mi Wuju! | 50% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mów mi Wuju! | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Bardaszian ;f | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyz | 163 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mów mi Wuju! | 73 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bardaszian ;f | 20 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kocikmeister | +0.57 | 52 | 78 |
| #2 | Mów mi Wuju! | +0.35 | 74 | 45 |
| #3 | Bardaszian ;f | +0.10 | 71 | 26 |
| #4 | xyz | -0.53 | 56 | 66 |





