








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4771 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5544 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4594 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3654 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,948 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Audr | 52% | 262 |
| #2 | Vadzila | 50% | 223 |
| #3 | Death Hand | 49% | 176 |
| #4 | Nyuu | 47% | 304 |
| #5 | Istoriks | 47% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Vadzila | 50% | 223 |
| #3 | Death Hand | 49% | 176 |
| #4 | Nyuu | 47% | 304 |
| #5 | Istoriks | 47% | 176 |
| #6 | plasma9un | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Audr | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Vadzila | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Death Hand | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Nyuu | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Istoriks | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Death Hand | 918 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #2 | Vadzila | 728 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #3 | Nyuu | 262 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #4 | Istoriks | 206 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Audr | 147 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vadzila | +2.79 | 59 | 70 |
| #2 | Audr | +1.64 | 67 | 49 |
| #3 | Death Hand | +1.15 | 71 | 76 |
| #4 | Nura | -0.21 | 51 | 72 |
| #5 | plasma9un | -1.42 | 25 | 72 |





