








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4324 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5110 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3707 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5202 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,083 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Eddie | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Whiplash | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | ✪ steffmeisteren | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | ⛧ ☠︎ The_Darkness ☠ ⛧ | 41% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Eddie | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Whiplash | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | ✪ steffmeisteren | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | ⛧ ☠︎ The_Darkness ☠ ⛧ | 41% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧ ☠︎ The_Darkness ☠ ⛧ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | ✪ steffmeisteren | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Whiplash | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ✪ Eddie | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛧ ☠︎ The_Darkness ☠ ⛧ | 365 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✪ steffmeisteren | 130 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ Eddie | 96 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Whiplash | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Eddie | +4.72 | 58 | 71 |
| #2 | ✪ steffmeisteren | +4.31 | 54 | 71 |
| #3 | Whiplash | +1.22 | 59 | 56 |
| #4 | atom | -0.99 | 31 | 58 |
| #5 | ⛧ ☠︎ The_Darkness ☠ ⛧ | -1.48 | 16 | 65 |





