








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 81 | 3% |
| Smokes | 71 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 1366 | 57% |
| Molotovs | 866 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $487,874 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daphne | 50% | 40 |
| #2 | AWPortunity Rover | 46% | 46 |
| #3 | Cheese Monster | 44% | 140 |
| #4 | Scooby Doo | 41% | 111 |
| #5 | Shaggy | 39% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AWPortunity Rover | 46% | 46 |
| #3 | Cheese Monster | 44% | 140 |
| #4 | Scooby Doo | 41% | 111 |
| #5 | Shaggy | 39% | 57 |
| #6 | Fly | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooby Doo | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Cheese Monster | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | AWPortunity Rover | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Shaggy | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Daphne | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheese Monster | 337 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Shaggy | 247 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Scooby Doo | 170 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | AWPortunity Rover | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Daphne | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooby Doo | +2.35 | 65 | 51 |
| #2 | Cheese Monster | +2.04 | 59 | 58 |
| #3 | AWPortunity Rover | +0.98 | 37 | 55 |
| #4 | Daphne | +0.79 | 58 | 56 |
| #5 | Shaggy | +0.00 | 37 | 62 |





