








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1558 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2593 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3644 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2456 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,456,029 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qwertzN | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | BOT Shorty | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Mindri | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | net | 52% | 50 |
| #5 | Optix :> | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | HradZ | 47% | 58 |
| #9 | Kevler23 | 46% | 50 |
| #10 | Mo_O | 45% | 47 |
| #11 | камень_О | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | krayzie! | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _qwertzN | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | RonDoeツ | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | net | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Optix :> | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Kevler23 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _qwertzN | 256 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Mindri | 189 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | HradZ | 153 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | net | 150 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | qwertzN | 124 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qwertzN | +6.60 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | _qwertzN | +4.69 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | Mindri | +3.82 | 86 | 74 |
| #4 | net | +0.44 | 65 | 63 |
| #5 | Optix :> | +0.02 | 68 | 76 |





