








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1621 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2154 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2714 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2235 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,908 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaNameIsJeff | 49% | 179 |
| #2 | ☣ Kwitz ✪ | 48% | 83 |
| #3 | Ess | 46% | 191 |
| #4 | Dax | 45% | 159 |
| #5 | TechnoFox | 42% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaNameIsJeff | 49% | 179 |
| #2 | ☣ Kwitz ✪ | 48% | 83 |
| #3 | Ess | 46% | 191 |
| #4 | Dax | 45% | 159 |
| #5 | TechnoFox | 42% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dax | 27 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | TechnoFox | 20 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | MaNameIsJeff | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Ess | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | ☣ Kwitz ✪ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dax | 539 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Ess | 536 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | MaNameIsJeff | 398 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | TechnoFox | 150 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | ☣ Kwitz ✪ | 74 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ess | +3.28 | 40 | 65 |
| #2 | Dax | +0.66 | 46 | 44 |
| #3 | ☣ Kwitz ✪ | +0.05 | 57 | 63 |
| #4 | MaNameIsJeff | -0.14 | 50 | 63 |
| #5 | TechnoFox | -2.15 | 16 | 38 |





