










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 443 | 19% |
| Smokes | 357 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 578 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1000 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,435 of utility $314 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | hub | 41% | 94 |
| #11 | High Sky Senpai~* | 36% | 76 |
| #12 | Nuko | 34% | 35 |
| #13 | I got the reset | 31% | 26 |
| #14 | 盲子 Flashed | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | High Sky Senpai~* | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Rotten Eggs | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | kev0 | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | hub | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | UberEats | 3 | 0.0030 |





