








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 467 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5495 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5143 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4349 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3783 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,671,169 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 694 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drizzonya | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | boof | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | Vato Squidward | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | Bad | 50% | 94 |
| #5 | JoeyMinecraft18 | 49% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bad | 50% | 94 |
| #5 | JoeyMinecraft18 | 49% | 122 |
| #6 | CreeperCharlie16 | 44% | 32 |
| #7 | MyKnifeUrLife | 42% | 193 |
| #8 | Gabriel Waifu | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bad | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | MyKnifeUrLife | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | JoeyMinecraft18 | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Drizzonya | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | CreeperCharlie16 | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MyKnifeUrLife | 269 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | JoeyMinecraft18 | 269 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | boof | 251 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | Drizzonya | 134 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | CreeperCharlie16 | 121 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vato Squidward | +2.90 | 57 | 62 |
| #2 | JoeyMinecraft18 | +2.67 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | boof | +1.02 | 58 | 65 |
| #4 | Drizzonya | +0.74 | 54 | 58 |
| #5 | Gabriel Waifu | +0.67 | 77 | 47 |





