








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 709 | 22% |
| Smokes | 682 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 999 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 790 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,949 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huniixo | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | bej | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | John N | 49% | 77 |
| #4 | LoDit_ | 43% | 65 |
| #5 | EvoAce | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | John N | 49% | 77 |
| #4 | LoDit_ | 43% | 65 |
| #5 | EvoAce | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | Professor K | 38% | 50 |
| #7 | Princess Obi | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John N | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Professor K | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | LoDit_ | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | bej | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professor K | 149 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | LoDit_ | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | John N | 57 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | EvoAce | 32 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | Princess Obi | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John N | +1.93 | 42 | 63 |
| #2 | EvoAce | +1.11 | 50 | 60 |
| #3 | Devin | +0.32 | 52 | 56 |
| #4 | Professor K | -0.97 | 47 | 71 |
| #5 | LoDit_ | -1.08 | 35 | 55 |





