










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 299 | 15% |
| Smokes | 535 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 601 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 498 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,721 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eyþór | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | ¥×Z̷e̷r̷q̷a̷r̷i̷×¥ | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | ✪ bRYON | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Hunter | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | viruz #hashtag | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪ bRYON | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Hunter | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | viruz #hashtag | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | weirdo | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | Archi ♥ | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eyþór | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | ¥×Z̷e̷r̷q̷a̷r̷i̷×¥ | 1 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¥×Z̷e̷r̷q̷a̷r̷i̷×¥ | 42 | 0.39 | 2 min |
| #2 | Eyþór | 25 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Hunter | 23 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | weirdo | 22 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | viruz #hashtag | 17 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viruz #hashtag | +4.66 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | Eyþór | +3.64 | 82 | 76 |
| #3 | ✪ bRYON | +2.20 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | ¥×Z̷e̷r̷q̷a̷r̷i̷×¥ | +1.30 | 91 | 88 |
| #5 | ⟡ dethkeik | +0.90 | 72 | 59 |





