








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,443 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1954 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1607 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3094 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1788 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,526,706 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrispE | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | ✪ Stanley | 52% | 69 |
| #3 | Hazz517 | 47% | 305 |
| #4 | Sir BarBosh | 46% | 336 |
| #5 | Ashbash | 46% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sir BarBosh | 46% | 336 |
| #5 | Ashbash | 46% | 96 |
| #6 | LTLMX | 45% | 67 |
| #7 | Blue_Portal | 41% | 22 |
| #8 | gravy | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazz517 | 24 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Sir BarBosh | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Ashbash | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | LTLMX | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | CrispE | 5 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazz517 | 2055 | 0.33 | 48 min |
| #2 | Sir BarBosh | 1368 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #3 | ✪ Stanley | 285 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ashbash | 250 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | LTLMX | 203 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Stanley | +3.47 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Hazz517 | +2.33 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | CrispE | +2.06 | 82 | 38 |
| #4 | LTLMX | +1.67 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Ashbash | +1.24 | 69 | 60 |





