








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1060 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 373 matches | ||
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7664 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6068 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7175 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4784 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,124,583 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 434 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LäJä | 54% | 48 |
| #2 | NipluZ | 53% | 378 |
| #3 | Koffi | 50% | 472 |
| #4 | r0m | 49% | 435 |
| #5 | Baitti | 46% | 429 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | NipluZ | 53% | 378 |
| #3 | Koffi | 50% | 472 |
| #4 | r0m | 49% | 435 |
| #5 | Baitti | 46% | 429 |
| #6 | Wazaazupro | 44% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r0m | 21 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Baitti | 18 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Koffi | 16 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | NipluZ | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Wazaazupro | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baitti | 1865 | 0.21 | 53 min |
| #2 | NipluZ | 824 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #3 | r0m | 730 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #4 | Koffi | 718 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #5 | Wazaazupro | 628 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonne | +2.89 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | NipluZ | +1.61 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | LäJä | -0.87 | 46 | 77 |
| #4 | Koffi | -1.01 | 48 | 64 |
| #5 | r0m | -1.06 | 57 | 67 |





