








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 640 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3706 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3247 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4068 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4216 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,631,063 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LäJä | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | Nonne | 53% | 378 |
| #3 | Koffi | 52% | 382 |
| #4 | r0m | 51% | 340 |
| #5 | Baitti | 48% | 353 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nonne | 53% | 378 |
| #3 | Koffi | 52% | 382 |
| #4 | r0m | 51% | 340 |
| #5 | Baitti | 48% | 353 |
| #6 | Wazaazupro | 48% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonne | 27 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | r0m | 19 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Baitti | 16 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Koffi | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Wazaazupro | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baitti | 1565 | 0.21 | 44 min |
| #2 | Nonne | 1472 | 0.18 | 46 min |
| #3 | r0m | 574 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | Koffi | 561 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #5 | Wazaazupro | 518 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonne | +3.18 | 76 | 75 |
| #2 | NipluZ | +2.02 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | LäJä | -0.91 | 54 | 72 |
| #4 | r0m | -1.01 | 56 | 67 |
| #5 | Koffi | -1.07 | 46 | 63 |





