








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3306 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2878 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1718 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1828 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,694 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonkers | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | DBeatzz | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | Noja | 55% | 92 |
| #4 | Moo Moo | 53% | 200 |
| #5 | LaMigra | 52% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DBeatzz | 8 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Moo Moo | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Jonkers | 4 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | ploot | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Aliean | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moo Moo | 416 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | DBeatzz | 211 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | LaMigra | 134 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Noja | 103 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | ploot | 58 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moo Moo | +2.27 | 65 | 59 |
| #2 | ploot | +1.31 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | Noja | +0.88 | 76 | 45 |
| #4 | Jonkers | +0.55 | 86 | 26 |
| #5 | DBeatzz | +0.06 | 82 | 65 |





