








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 242 | 20% |
| Smokes | 444 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 451 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 51 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,109 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlul_ | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | N0x1. | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | xena | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | mattness | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | [KBS] Isated | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlul_ | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | N0x1. | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | xena | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | mattness | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | [KBS] Isated | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xena | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | N0x1. | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | mattness | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N0x1. | 115 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | xena | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Carlul_ | 47 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | mattness | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | [KBS] Isated | 3 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xena | +2.93 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | N0x1. | +2.36 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | mattness | -1.34 | 61 | 42 |
| #4 | Carlul_ | -2.30 | 67 | 48 |
| #5 | Roush | -2.68 | 56 | 45 |





