








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6088 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4648 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4672 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2434 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $778,649 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperHeroCraig | 52% | 92 |
| #2 | Moon ☾ | 51% | 243 |
| #3 | drflappy | 51% | 89 |
| #4 | UNLUX | 49% | 119 |
| #5 | Masus | 48% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon ☾ | 943 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | Masus | 922 | 0.23 | 23 min |
| #3 | UNLUX | 368 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | drflappy | 323 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | SuperHeroCraig | 161 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon ☾ | +4.47 | 74 | 76 |
| #2 | SuperHeroCraig | +3.65 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | Masus | +1.13 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | UNLUX | +1.06 | 45 | 63 |
| #5 | drflappy | -0.55 | 22 | 63 |





