








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2431 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3451 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2809 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1715 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,148,727 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blood'Prince ︻芫一一 | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | GodBali | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Mao Tsé-Tung | 43% | 53 |
| #4 | MaVillll™ | 43% | 135 |
| #5 | YOUR NARRATOR | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blood'Prince ︻芫一一 | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | GodBali | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Mao Tsé-Tung | 43% | 53 |
| #4 | MaVillll™ | 43% | 135 |
| #5 | YOUR NARRATOR | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodBali | 16 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | MaVillll™ | 14 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Blood'Prince ︻芫一一 | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | YOUR NARRATOR | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaVillll™ | 374 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | GodBali | 136 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Blood'Prince ︻芫一一 | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | YOUR NARRATOR | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mao Tsé-Tung | 23 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GodBali | +3.66 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | YOUR NARRATOR | +0.80 | 59 | 58 |
| #3 | Blood'Prince ︻芫一一 | +0.11 | 44 | 71 |
| #4 | MaVillll™ | -0.22 | 39 | 63 |
| #5 | BH | -0.67 | 39 | 60 |





