








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 2,070 | |
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1491 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1208 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1525 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1136 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,486 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | CrickEZ | 66% | 93 |
| #4 | Martin Ødegaard | 61% | 62 |
| #5 | Fritjof | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Kvas | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | COJKI TERROR | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Martin Ødegaard | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Fritjof | 5 | 0.0228 |
| #3 | CrickEZ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | el capitano | 4 | 0.0182 |
| #5 | COJKI TERROR | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrickEZ | 307 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Kvas | 91 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Martin Ødegaard | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | el capitano | 48 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fritjof | 48 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COJKI TERROR | +3.75 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | el capitano | +2.25 | 92 | 58 |
| #3 | Fritjof | +2.23 | 71 | 63 |
| #4 | Konny | +2.03 | 83 | 67 |
| #5 | CrickEZ | +1.63 | 81 | 72 |





