








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 2,157 | |
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2742 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2112 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1498 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1708 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,606 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 505 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el capitano | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | senseyy | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Konny | 66% | 93 |
| #4 | Kvas | 64% | 47 |
| #5 | COJKI TERROR | 63% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Konny | 66% | 93 |
| #4 | Kvas | 64% | 47 |
| #5 | COJKI TERROR | 63% | 32 |
| #6 | Martin Ødegaard | 62% | 50 |
| #7 | Fritjof | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konny | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Martin Ødegaard | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | el capitano | 6 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | COJKI TERROR | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Fritjof | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konny | 312 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kvas | 161 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fritjof | 110 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Martin Ødegaard | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | el capitano | 66 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrickEZ | +2.27 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | Konny | +1.80 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | senseyy | +1.05 | 88 | 60 |
| #4 | Fritjof | +0.82 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | COJKI TERROR | +0.45 | 77 | 60 |





