








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,717 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1340 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1145 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1531 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 701 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $397,027 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Teck (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง | 54% | 79 |
| #2 | Seefore | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | Nibrow | 47% | 53 |
| #4 | L00T3R | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | ☂El Capitano☂ #SkinsMonkey | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Teck (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง | 54% | 79 |
| #2 | Seefore | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | Nibrow | 47% | 53 |
| #4 | L00T3R | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | ☂El Capitano☂ #SkinsMonkey | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Teck (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Nibrow | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nibrow | 465 | 0.41 | 10 min |
| #2 | Seefore | 117 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | ♛Teck (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง | 29 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☂El Capitano☂ #SkinsMonkey | 18 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | L00T3R | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛Teck (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง | +2.28 | 63 | 43 |
| #2 | Seefore | +1.09 | 61 | 71 |
| #3 | Nibrow | +0.04 | 35 | 69 |
| #4 | chess ✪ | -0.34 | 56 | 62 |
| #5 | ☂El Capitano☂ #SkinsMonkey | -5.01 | 66 | 55 |





