








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1957 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1071 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15017 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8246 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 14212 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 9346 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,602,313 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hattumoerchen | 54% | 71 |
| #2 | HeaddZ | 52% | 128 |
| #3 | $chm!dt | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | HumPs | 48% | 245 |
| #5 | TriggerEnte | 48% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Veganarchist | 45% | 398 |
| #11 | ☠👑The༒End👑☠ | 45% | 210 |
| #12 | Nero | 44% | 180 |
| #13 | fishy # The Sky Was Pink | 44% | 127 |
| #14 | Haba | 44% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hattumoerchen | +5.02 | 87 | 43 |
| #2 | HeaddZ | +4.25 | 92 | 64 |
| #3 | TriggerEnte | +2.42 | 82 | 31 |
| #4 | MoNsTeR | +1.00 | 53 | 64 |
| #5 | Papst.# | +0.98 | 84 | 67 |





