








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2243 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2658 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2045 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2104 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,742 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ⚠ Alvarinho ⚠ | 55% | 29 |
| #7 | eeePiinH0! ◢◤ | 52% | 58 |
| #8 | R0DR00 | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | c0mplex | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | |Halox| | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dave~ | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | eeePiinH0! ◢◤ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | V999dka #19 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Congui | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | c0mplex | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V999dka #19 | 239 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | eeePiinH0! ◢◤ | 223 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Congui | 190 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | dave~ | 139 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | ⚠ Alvarinho ⚠ | 123 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HERENOW | +1.46 | 93 | 67 |
| #2 | V999dka #19 | +1.08 | 91 | 61 |
| #3 | ⚠ Alvarinho ⚠ | +0.07 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | dave~ | -0.12 | 84 | 64 |
| #5 | R0DR00 | -0.19 | 85 | 50 |





