








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 558 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4576 | 16% |
| Smokes | 8755 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6297 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8380 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,170,915 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chill Guy | 31 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | egO' | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | elorinho | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ELO | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Trinkyy #' | 10 | 0.0033 |





