








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 622 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 57,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18733 | 33% |
| Smokes | 15519 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 11409 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 11393 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $997,478 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





