








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 832 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2943 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3477 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1753 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 277 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,094,839 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 525 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zensunomi | 53% | 157 |
| #2 | jordan | 53% | 116 |
| #3 | 2 COLD s0 DoPe | 50% | 234 |
| #4 | brendan905 | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | soldier of godrick | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | detoX | 643 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #2 | 2 COLD s0 DoPe | 345 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ben Salami | 208 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | jordan | 166 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Gambit | 144 | 0.09 | 3 min |





