








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 859 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Esplay | 98 matches | 2,324 | |
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5173 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4159 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2434 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1824 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,739 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 733 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kalma | 60% | 57 |
| #6 | Hagster | 60% | 52 |
| #7 | Mu$hrooM | 59% | 126 |
| #8 | Erib | 58% | 67 |
| #9 | olivia:( | 56% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Linus | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Fatty D Danny | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Erib | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | con1 | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Kalma | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mu$hrooM | 549 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | Linus | 379 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | con1 | 268 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Fatty D Danny | 240 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Erib | 205 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dDaniii | +3.45 | 92 | 73 |
| #2 | Linus | +1.12 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | Erib | +0.97 | 74 | 74 |
| #4 | con1 | +0.65 | 78 | 62 |
| #5 | Fatty D Danny | +0.42 | 82 | 65 |





