








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 864 | 28% |
| Smokes | 910 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 556 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 788 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,937 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StrangerDanger | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Woozy | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | zuusie ๑ﭥ | 71% | 45 |
| #4 | timigod | 69% | 29 |
| #5 | Cvele | 62% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | timigod | 69% | 29 |
| #5 | Cvele | 62% | 45 |
| #6 | VuLV4 ツ | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | Luka ツ | 58% | 19 |
| #8 | NoScoper69 | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luka ツ | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | timigod | 185 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #2 | Cvele | 107 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | zuusie ๑ﭥ | 105 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | NoScoper69 | 92 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Woozy | 32 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | timigod | +3.50 | 71 | 68 |
| #2 | zuusie ๑ﭥ | +2.58 | 87 | 64 |
| #3 | :) | +2.13 | 85 | 64 |
| #4 | Woozy | +0.53 | 87 | 55 |
| #5 | StrangerDanger | -0.08 | 55 | 71 |





