








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1027 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1169 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1467 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1226 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,009,068 of utility $297 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guffi muffi | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | ranzau | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Pazia | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Jojjer | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | MoE | 43% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mick^ | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | MoE | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ZyaKs | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Trygge | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ranzau | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZyaKs | 320 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | Trygge | 208 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | cApz | 167 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mick^ | 155 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | MoE | 76 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guffi muffi | +6.83 | 96 | 62 |
| #2 | lukz シ | +5.83 | 98 | 46 |
| #3 | Pazia | +4.64 | 83 | 91 |
| #4 | cApz | +3.43 | 64 | 85 |
| #5 | Mick^ | +2.03 | 59 | 79 |





