








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 433 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Renown | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11595 | 34% |
| Smokes | 9413 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6310 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7252 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,107,050 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeaR | 70% | 60 |
| #2 | ZeZakツ | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | Herman | 54% | 241 |
| #4 | Bronix | 54% | 488 |
| #5 | Ropstens | 52% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A t o m | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | SpeaR | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Ropstens | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Bronix | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Herman | 3 | 0.0006 |





