








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1073 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1215 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 889 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 910 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,669 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woutahh | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Velema | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | BADRR | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | BluEagle | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | .lex | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | braind4d | 49% | 39 |
| #13 | MarvinW | 45% | 11 |
| #14 | FrshNL | 45% | 11 |
| #15 | peekske | 43% | 7 |
| #16 | JSSB | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sky | 139 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | braind4d | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | FrshNL | 72 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | Woutahh | 52 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | KQLYstyle | 50 | 0.22 | 1 min |





