








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 488 | 20% |
| Smokes | 763 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 580 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 608 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,994 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ‹Cyŋą☻› | 52% | 56 |
| #2 | Timanski | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | Jaakoppi Eerikinpoika IV | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ‹Cyŋą☻› | 52% | 56 |
| #2 | Timanski | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | Jaakoppi Eerikinpoika IV | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaakoppi Eerikinpoika IV | 7 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | ‹Cyŋą☻› | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ‹Cyŋą☻› | 141 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Timanski | 57 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jaakoppi Eerikinpoika IV | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ‹Cyŋą☻› | +4.02 | 74 | 80 |
| #2 | Jaakoppi Eerikinpoika IV | +0.38 | 79 | 76 |
| #3 | Assa | -0.66 | 58 | 55 |
| #4 | Timanski | -2.96 | 47 | 56 |





