








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,419 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1651 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1341 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1628 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1128 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $928,358 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 385 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ T3B01L1 ☆ | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | kaBuum | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | JuJa | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Penny | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Kusinen kiintiö tinkki | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikku-e | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Hauntaa | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | FiveSeven | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Mystery | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | ☆ T3B01L1 ☆ | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikku-e | 784 | 0.29 | 25 min |
| #2 | JuJa | 96 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mystery | 93 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | ☆ T3B01L1 ☆ | 92 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | kaBuum | 88 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikku-e | +2.72 | 63 | 84 |
| #2 | Hauntaa | +0.84 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | KoMiK | +0.54 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | JuJa | +0.05 | 68 | 57 |
| #5 | DaddyDariel | +0.00 | 66 | 58 |





