








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4046 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4352 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2946 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3614 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,049,469 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O w N i x´X | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | maxje | 58% | 76 |
| #3 | vrn | 55% | 190 |
| #4 | GoTTi | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | ᴿᴵᴳᴼᴿ | 54% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | simzoor | 49% | 126 |
| #12 | schlenz | 47% | 19 |
| #13 | Mopf | 46% | 26 |
| #14 | ✪ shockwave | 45% | 38 |
| #15 | kw6 | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pyro | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Robin | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | sim | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | vrn | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | maxje | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vrn | 941 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | maxje | 828 | 0.46 | 28 min |
| #3 | sim | 725 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #4 | simzoor | 508 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #5 | pyro | 329 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maxje | +4.62 | 81 | 89 |
| #2 | pyro | +0.92 | 65 | 64 |
| #3 | ᴿᴵᴳᴼᴿ | +0.86 | 59 | 59 |
| #4 | simzoor | +0.64 | 77 | 70 |
| #5 | TrV | +0.57 | 62 | 68 |





