








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 2,036 | |
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1404 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1434 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1360 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1141 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,569 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 376 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Pajk | 62% | 66 |
| #5 | kent q:) | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | MADZi | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | dRAVID123 | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | gurra | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pajk | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Kushlifa | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | MADZi | 1 | 0.0026 |





