








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2698 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2002 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3285 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2888 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,128 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ุ | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | Hösti | 42% | 83 |
| #13 | ♥Nemu♥ | 42% | 48 |
| #14 | Sepe | 40% | 88 |
| #15 | Kinuzki | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RetZki | 212 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | ุ | 170 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kyösti | 153 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sepe | 149 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hösti | 127 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0ne and 0nly | +3.95 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | ุ | +2.95 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | Ghetto-Child | +1.46 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | Hösti | +1.28 | 65 | 70 |
| #5 | Kyösti | +1.00 | 77 | 71 |





