








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2309 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2241 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2308 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1678 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $732,967 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 377 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sadge | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | Balu Ψ | 66% | 80 |
| #3 | tonton | 66% | 38 |
| #4 | Nanosurfer23 | 65% | 26 |
| #5 | mr.gritz | 63% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Donny Luxemborg | 56% | 41 |
| #11 | speedy | 55% | 29 |
| #12 | yeahyeah | 50% | 28 |
| #13 | Itchy | 47% | 15 |
| #14 | Uncle Dre | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.gritz | 20 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | nagasaki | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Balu Ψ | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | speedy | 9 | 0.0159 |
| #5 | Donny Luxemborg | 8 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.gritz | 602 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | Balu Ψ | 206 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Skii | 130 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | Badabingho | 125 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | speedy | 110 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sane | +3.29 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | aris | +2.81 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | Sadge | +1.77 | 68 | 46 |
| #4 | Badabingho | +1.68 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | Nanosurfer23 | +1.27 | 73 | 62 |





