








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2161 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1761 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2043 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1744 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $417,691 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | moere | 59% | 29 |
| #7 | bomberstulle | 59% | 29 |
| #8 | KaCe | 50% | 68 |
| #9 | ⚓ BaYnE 🔥 | 49% | 65 |
| #10 | Filmkiste | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vertigo | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ⚓ BaYnE 🔥 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | bomberstulle | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | KaCe | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚓ BaYnE 🔥 | 210 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Vertigo | 169 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | KaCe | 151 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | moere | 151 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | bomberstulle | 124 | 0.20 | 3 min |





