








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5016 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3527 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2549 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1201 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,541 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | jojolooping | 46% | 24 |
| #6 | 0rel | 44% | 25 |
| #7 | Duddits | 41% | 46 |
| #8 | Drago Le Pire | 39% | 69 |
| #9 | Belial | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saitam Rip Ken Block | 14 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | MaladCSGO | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Duddits | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Belial | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Drago Le Pire | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drago Le Pire | 399 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #2 | MaladCSGO | 397 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #3 | Aki | 137 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | Duddits | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | jojolooping | 107 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaladCSGO | +3.08 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | Belial | +2.62 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | Aki | +1.69 | 54 | 70 |
| #4 | Duddits | +0.50 | 56 | 59 |
| #5 | 0rel | +0.46 | 58 | 51 |





