








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1472 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1247 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 585 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1021 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $323,583 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lorenzo. | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | ✪M1sterr | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Humario | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | Lynx | 55% | 83 |
| #5 | دَيميًن | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | دَيميًن | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Humario | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | w1tcher | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | lorenzo. | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | 326 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Humario | 143 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | w1tcher | 63 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | دَيميًن | 62 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪M1sterr | 57 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | +3.37 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | Deagle | +2.82 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | VelTroX | +1.66 | 89 | 63 |
| #4 | w1tcher | +1.43 | 82 | 57 |
| #5 | lorenzo. | +0.74 | 78 | 48 |





