








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2124 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2087 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1373 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2192 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $449,783 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaulyRTLSNK | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | vhel | 69% | 29 |
| #3 | S~illazz 🐉 | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | x4NK | 57% | 80 |
| #5 | hang;.er | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shushu | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | hang;.er | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | x4NK | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | vhel | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | PaulyRTLSNK | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x4NK | 330 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | hang;.er | 148 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | shushu | 127 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | S~illazz 🐉 | 109 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | vhel | 94 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S~illazz 🐉 | +2.51 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | vhel | +1.09 | 50 | 71 |
| #3 | visug | +1.06 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | hang;.er | +0.42 | 81 | 71 |
| #5 | x4NK | -0.25 | 74 | 72 |





