








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 190 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4856 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2974 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4510 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2604 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,907 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Matty420 | 49% | 190 |
| #8 | nayjay | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | YouTube/Pappa_Wolf | 43% | 28 |
| #10 | Sir mourning | 41% | 22 |
| #11 | K@PPER | 31% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F E E S H | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Matty420 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Sir mourning | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | SNAK3BIT3 | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | nayjay | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F E E S H | 329 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Matty420 | 266 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | SNAK3BIT3 | 226 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | YouTube/Pappa_Wolf | 105 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | A.D | 97 | 0.14 | 2 min |





