








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 430 | 23% |
| Smokes | 562 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 559 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 351 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,487 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickelalum | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | KaobeiKapy | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | Spriggs | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickelalum | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | KaobeiKapy | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | Spriggs | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickelalum | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KaobeiKapy | 96 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | nickelalum | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Spriggs | 22 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickelalum | +0.91 | 54 | 46 |
| #2 | incertia | +0.88 | 70 | 57 |
| #3 | KaobeiKapy | +0.36 | 54 | 78 |
| #4 | Spriggs | +0.19 | 52 | 50 |





